Hullo hullo!! Happy Pico Day!!

I'm very excited to say I have completed another illustration for this lovely day, which is something I haven't done in quite a bit due to a lot going on,

can view it here:

Happy to draw some ladies :D

My work turnout has likely slowed quite a bit this year because art isn't just something i'm focusing on,

**There's also voicework i've been doing -

**Moviewatching -

Aside from the Mario Movie, watched "Whisper of the Heart" (1995), "Best in Show" (2000), "Waiting for Guffman" (1996),

with any movie at all, i'd always recommend watching it in theatre if you can. The theatre just gives the most authentic experience.

**Vacation planning!!

I've been planning on seeing my boyfriend, M1r0Art in person! I'm bringing along three friends, two of em who are Hallowmations & Bonguy-!! We gonna beeee ballin'!!

Although, Life hasn't been really kind to me in regards to traveling lately, I'm sure it will be much better this time around, Now that i'm not alone & the fact I know that I got a lot of people who got my back.

on that note, here's some Ren Fair Drip-

Circus bros-

WIPS???

alright, see you on the flipside-

probably gonna be checklistin & stressin-

First off, thanks for over 500+, 

I wanted it to be a for-sure thing before I mentioned it. 

Initially I wanted this post to be more exciting.

For example, I would currently be listing all the amazing things I’m going to do & all that jazz. 

Oh how great it is to be out of that stress, I can now do whatever I want to without a system to set deadlines for me anymore. And it was true for a while.

But eventually, it would be quite a disservice to my honest feelings to just pretend the bad didn’t come with the good.

As I thought, as I’ve reached the end of my college journey, I feel dissatisfied because whatever imaginary steps to success I thought would come straight afterwards…

I guess just didn’t happen- or maybe what I thought meant “my life starts now (after college)” was just another landmark, and now the real challenge begins.

At the moment, I feel like I’m just pouring freshwater into ocean, whatever water I’ve released has became salty just like the rest. Especially when it’s hard to get people to notice the fresh water I’ve made.

Is that a good metaphor? Maybe, maybe not. I’m like within this very competitive field, I wish I knew the right way to play.

It’s hard to be content with what you have when you feel aimless & you feel this constant urge that you can be doing so much more than you are now.

It’s hard because you feel like you’re doing all you can to be known.

Currently feeling this rejection stage.

I have a knack for writing essays. Thanks for reading this one if you cared to. I’m grateful for the people who’s stayed, but this has been on my mind for these past few weeks now. 

Wish me luck, it’s been genuinely hard reaching out. Especially since I’ve been feeling unsatisfied with everything going on in my life right now.

I’ll just complain for now and get on with whatever my state is, suck it up & push through it as they say.

Made some art for the special occasion of Halloween, check it out, give it a rating! Thanks!!

As you might have discovered by reading the title..all these movies are R-Rated (in Newgrounds rating terms… M-A rated) & definitely not for the squeamish, so if you’re not a horror fan, you may stop reading here!

Happy Halloween!

... Now onto the wonderful list.

So you've heard of films such as, "Child's Play", "Halloween", "It", & "Nightmare on Elm Street"- everyone often knows these thanks to well-known mascots!

Now these are horror films that I would absolutely recommend people who are in for a scare to watch at least once, despite their initial box office failures. These are films that are not exactly popular in the horror space, but if you want something refreshing, put these on your watch list.

All these brief reviews of mine will be spoiler free!

1.

Dead & Buried (1981)

"Dead & Buried" is 1981 horror film directed by Gary Sherman.

The film is about a sheriff who tries to understand the unexplainable deaths that haunt his small town, especially when discovering that the people who have died are now walking the earth again.

This is technically considered a "Zombie" movie, but not the traditional zombie movie that you think of- where you see undead eating the living.

The horror that comes from this movie deals anyone and everyone threatening to steal your body autonomy from you and being reanimated without their consent. You also think about how odd it is that we have to dress our dead before they bury them back into the earth, rather than just immediately leave them to rest.

Fun Fact: Due to the extreme nature of this film, this movie was actually considered a "video nasty" because of the gruesome deaths and themes.

2.

The Blob (1988)

"The Blob" is a 1988 film directed by Chuck Russell.

The film is about a pair of teenagers who discover that a strange gelatinous substance threatens to consume any living being that gets in its way.

When you hear of "The Blob", you kind of think it's a silly movie concept where it's like "ooooo scary blob eats everyone"... This movie will change your perception that ideas that are generally thought of as a joke, can actually work if done right.

If you love "The Thing" (1982") by John Carpenter, then you are more inclined to love this film as well, also being a remake done right. The horror that "The Blob" encapsulates is reminding us as human beings that... despite our accomplishments- we are all just meat, especially to a starving animal.

My recommended way of watching this film is seeing "The Blob" (1958) and then "The Blob" (1988) back to back (especially with friends, you'll have a few laughs). The first film will establish the story beats for you, and this remake will turn the story roles on its head in the bestest way. Promise.

3.

Possession (1981)

"Possession" is a 1983 film directed by Andrzej Żulawski, based on the pains of him and his ex-wife's divorce.

This film is about a couple going through terrible relationship issues... And that's putting it extremely lightly. This couple that cannot work through their issues absolutely refuse to leave each other and it becomes this horrifying waltz of toxicity, heartbreak, and violence. Infidelity is also added into the mix that just makes things even worse for these main characters.

This film makes me feel an emotion I cannot explain through just one essay. After me and my friends saw this film together, we spent 40 minutes or more trying to explain what we just experienced together. It's not a film that explains itself & is not always plot coherent. Its intention is to put distress into all it's viewers, and it's done wonderfully.

If you've ever been through any form of heartbreak (especially of the relationship, toxicity, and sexual type) "Possession" will put it onscreen for you and you don't have to explain it. Each person will have a different experience seeing this film depending on what they-themselves have experienced- but if there's anything I have to say, please see this.

This film made it onto one of my favorite horror films i've ever seen just from my first watch.

Fun Fact: Due to the extreme sexual nature of this film, this movie was actually considered a "video nasty". It was banned in the UK and extremely cut upon release in the US. SEE THE VERSION THAT'S UNCUT PLEASE!

In conclusion, perhaps these films were misunderstood initially. But I found something beautiful in all these films, because it made me think about them a lot even after my initial viewing of them.

Individuals would rather not think too much about what they're just seeing & need all the explanations, but if you ask me, if you're always trying to process the unexplainable, that's all the more terrifying isn't it?

If you all missed seeing my latest contribution to Tankmas! Click Here!

Hello everyone,

What a year huh?

For me I had to start out going through one of the most roughest time periods of my life to ending up in a community that made me feel welcomed.

Thanks for everything. I've learned and experienced so much that I can look forward to the next year with hope in my eyes, despite me knowing there's even more rough hurtles to get through in the future.

I wish you all well. Here's to more love, laughter, and fulfillment.

2022, i'm ready for you.

New Years Resolutions:

• Accepting the love i'm given more often.
• Contributing to my home life & family more.
• Improvement in art & as a person.
• Love fully and understandingly.
• Being grateful for the life I am still given.
• To live.

Three songs i'm providing tonight that help me through some tough times.

I feel like we're in severe need of it lately <3

I hope you're all doing well.

• "Talk to Me" by CaveTown

• "don't overthink it" by yaeow

• "all the lonely nights in your life" - American Pleasure Club (Covered by CaveTown & Chloe)

EDIT: thnx for 269 followers omg

m1r0art shits fards & dyes lmao

Gf x Bf doodle because I felt overwhelmed lately.

-still mid November right? See, I’m thinking…

I wanna feel that Christmas Joy sooner than you think. Came to terms that it’s my favorite holiday.

here’s to hoping things do get better & I end up sorting everything out soon enough. Just going through the motions, y’know?

friendly reminder that I do have a patreon, I post a lot of hidden doodles in there & I offer monthly rewards up.

or if you can pass me that one time caffeine, keeps me going on the daily- thank youuuu <3

A sketch of my OC, Serena back in March. She's mainly used for venting out my feelings, so she does not have a consistent appearance.

She looks the way however I'd like depending on how I feel.

Let me tell you all a little something,

This year, I had entered previous competitions.

Despite my best of efforts... I eventually never technically won in the end. At the time of typing this, I have accepted those loses.

Although I went in these contests knowing full well I could possibly not be a winner... It did grate on me that I didn't win. It was to the point it gave me a sense of inferiority from other 'winning' artists who entered the competition. It made me cower and wonder about myself for a bit.

Questions such as "Am I not good enough?" // "Am I not worthy of being a winner?" // "Does this contest define me?"

I had to vent to my older sister about how inferior I felt to other people, I let myself slip, I let these contests make me forget my own worth.

She asks, "What about the other contestants that entered and didn't win anything...? Are they inferior too?"

Just those questions alone made me think. Of course they aren't. They're still practicing their craft, like it or not. Win or loss, they got up and did something in hopes of entertaining people.

It also reinforced my feelings about how I believe creatives are valuable in this world.

So many wonderful creations are done by one's own blood sweat and tears, for all we know, someone could've had the most horrible work day, a close one die a week ago, and not own a computer of their own- yet still manage to make the most beautiful creations. For me, artwork isn't all about being created so it can be judged, it's mostly to take in and enjoy. Of course, that's not to say you shouldn't take constructive critique so you can improve.

Improvement is key. It's a great thing to do. You're not hopeless because you can always do better next time. As long as you keep going, you will improve.

You're most definitely allowed to be distraught for your losses. You can even take what people say as motivation to get better.

I trust that you know what I mean.

Today's unnamed could be tomorrow's winner. Today's amateur could be tomorrow's professional.

However, I do know that- with time, I probably will forget my own advice and words many times throughout my career. I've come to the conclusion that experiencing that several times is normal, it just sucks having to go through it.

Adulthood is all about giving yourself consistent reminders after all. That's why I'm saying this today.

To remind myself [and possibly whoever is reading this] about our worth.

If you really think about it, your identity shouldn’t revolve around just one or a few things that won’t matter in the long run.

You’re allowed to feel sad about for the things you cannot control.

What matters in the end, is little things you do that make others appreciate you for YOU. I trust you know who you are better than anyone.

You’re loved and appreciated, even if you forget. Even if you’re feeling your worst.

Goodnight. See you on the flipside. I'll be busy, so happy creating <3

my morning was interesting- walked my dog after finding out.

Maybe it's not a big milestone for some people, but it certainly is for me!

Thank you for all the support!

I sincerely appreciate all the feedback and love given to me after all this time!

Heck, I didn't expect all my indulgence into the community to turn out so well for me! I'm so glad to have gotten back into animating.

With all the support my recent animation has gotten, I can't wait for what i'm gonna put out there in the future!