First off, thanks for over 500+, 

I wanted it to be a for-sure thing before I mentioned it. 

Initially I wanted this post to be more exciting.

For example, I would currently be listing all the amazing things I’m going to do & all that jazz. 

Oh how great it is to be out of that stress, I can now do whatever I want to without a system to set deadlines for me anymore. And it was true for a while.

But eventually, it would be quite a disservice to my honest feelings to just pretend the bad didn’t come with the good.

As I thought, as I’ve reached the end of my college journey, I feel dissatisfied because whatever imaginary steps to success I thought would come straight afterwards…

I guess just didn’t happen- or maybe what I thought meant “my life starts now (after college)” was just another landmark, and now the real challenge begins.

At the moment, I feel like I’m just pouring freshwater into ocean, whatever water I’ve released has became salty just like the rest. Especially when it’s hard to get people to notice the fresh water I’ve made.

Is that a good metaphor? Maybe, maybe not. I’m like within this very competitive field, I wish I knew the right way to play.

It’s hard to be content with what you have when you feel aimless & you feel this constant urge that you can be doing so much more than you are now.

It’s hard because you feel like you’re doing all you can to be known.

Currently feeling this rejection stage.

I have a knack for writing essays. Thanks for reading this one if you cared to. I’m grateful for the people who’s stayed, but this has been on my mind for these past few weeks now. 

Wish me luck, it’s been genuinely hard reaching out. Especially since I’ve been feeling unsatisfied with everything going on in my life right now.

I’ll just complain for now and get on with whatever my state is, suck it up & push through it as they say.